APPEARANCES

The topic of how to dress for church comes up now and again, and I felt like addressing it in a blog today, so here goes.

I am one of those who feels like God loves us and accepts our worship no matter what we look like or how we're dressed as long as our worship is sincere and from the heart. With God, everything is all about the heart anyway. If you want to show up for church in jeans and a red plaid flannel shirt, go for it. Male or female. However, there is another way of looking at church dress that is also not wrong. You may want to think about this. Even pray about it.

I know that times have changed, customs have changed, hearts have changed...so how you answer the following questions is just going to have to come from your own stance in life. Here are the questions:

How do you dress to attend:

1. A wedding?
2. A funeral?
3. A 50th wedding anniversary celebration? Especially if it's your grandparents' or other close relatives'?
4. A professional or college ballgame?
5. A NASCAR race?
6. A tractor pull?

For my more affluent friends...yea, maybe even the snobs who may read this: (Not all affluent people are snobs, by the way.)

How would you dress to attend:

1. The opera?
2. A Broadway play?
3. A movie premier?
4. A presidential inauguration?

(As I said, times and customs have changed, so some of you would dress the same for a wedding as you would for a tractor pull; the same for the opera as you would for a NASCAR race, should someone who attends operas actually attend a NASCAR race.)

If Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever, (and He is, according to The Bible) then let's see what the Bible says about dressing for church. I would think what Jesus said then would apply now, since He is unchanging. In the Old Testament of The Bible, the priests (our modern-day preachers?) were to wear some pretty specific clothing to perform their duties. Really specific. Down to colors and styles. Exodus 28 is one of the places you can read about that. Men and women both wore robe-like or tunic-like clothing with small differences in stylng for the two genders.

In the New Testament, I don't see it addressed a whole lot. However, James 2:1-4 talks about two men who come to church, one in finery and one in filthy clothes, so it appears that both styles of dress were acceptable. The passage is instructing people not to favor the more finely dressed man over the one in filthy clothes. Even saying that if you do, you've become a judge with evil thoughts! Yikes!

Now it's time to think. Who is someone that you respect a lot? Really...think of someone. Depending on who's reading this it could be one of many types of people...an old friend, a seldom-seen-but-admired relative, your favorite performer (writer/actor/singer/dancer, etc.,) the president, the king/queen of some foreign country, whomever. How would you dress to meet that person, whether for the first time or after many years? Personally, I would want to look pretty spiffy. After all, it would be a bit of a celebration for me.

Doesn't the King of Kings deserve more respect than anyone on this earth that we could possibly meet? Shouldn't we respect Him enough to show up in His presence looking like we respect Him? I know, I know...I've already said that with God it's always about the heart and not appearances...but, really, if we respect and love Him as much as we say we do, shouldn't it be obvious not only to Him but to everyone else? If we have the ability, shouldn't we put on not just the garment of praise (Isaiah 61:3) but a garment of respect for our Savior? Just a thought. I know you have your own.

June 20, 2018 - Update - I discovered today a great youtube video that I think fits this topic perfectly.  Here it is:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXbI_NdcBaU 

PLEASE DON'T DROWN ME WITH QUOTES

Not sure why this is something I'm noticing lately, but it appears that Christians, especially pastors/preachers, over the past few years have obtained a fascination with quoting a plethora (I just love that word) of men/women/books/etc., outside the Bible...not that there isn't a place for that and not that a lot of sincere Christians don't have something to say that may be from the Lord. (Like me!) What I mean is that there seems to be a bent toward that practice...like suddenly the Bible isn't enough...or that it can't speak what God wants to say well enough...like something needs to be added in order to get its message across. This isn't limited to just quotations from other Christians (and, actually, some of the people quoted in Christian venues aren't/weren't Christians at all) but also contains prayers of other people. May or may not be anything wrong with that either, but I guess I'd rather hear from the Lord myself what He wants me to pray. I don't want other people putting words in my mouth. I feel like it's a distraction from what God may be wanting to say to me and I can't hear Him because I'm reading/praying what He said to someone else. Jesus Christ Himself gave us the basis for our prayers in The Lord's Prayer, not that I quote it every day or even most days, but I think we can all learn a lesson from how He taught His disciples to pray. After all, we're supposed to be His disciples, too.

I guess one reason this practice bothers me is that if folks are quoting so many other people, that means they are reading huge amounts of material outside the Bible. Lest you think I'm anti-reading-anything-but-the-Bible, let me remind you that I have written two Christian books myself and have two more tumbling around in my head. Also, on my website there are book reviews of some of the books I've read. In fact, I LOVE to read. I read the Bible every day, but I also like to read other books, articles, newspapers, magazines, etc. But if someone is going to read material in order to post to a networking website or develop a sermon, or whatever, I prefer to hear what the Bible has to say. Concentration and poring over pages and pages and chapters and chapters of what someone else said, inspired by God or not, seems to me to be a distraction from the Bible...which is so full that if we studied it as much as we should daily we wouldn't have time for a whole lot of other reading. Pointing the finger at myself here, too.

I know a lot of people are into that sort of thing, but it's time pretty much wasted on me. If you're posting it to a website that I frequent, I skip over it and move on, or if you've sent it to me in an e-mail, I hit "delete" and move on, or if you're preaching it in a sermon that I'm listening to, I zone out. A quote here and there, okay, I can get through that, but I'm talking about the constant barrage of who-said-what-that's-supposed-to-impress-me.

I know everyone isn't going to agree with me on this. That's obvious. But there are others who do.

Thanks for reading...and have a very, very "Happy Thanksgiving!" Remember the One to Whom we are to be thankful...God, our Father and the Father of Jesus Christ our Savior, Whose Holy Spirit empowers us.

MISUNDERSTANDINGS

Our pastor's sermon today was entitled "The Misunderstanding Test," and addressed, as you might guess, the fact that, at some point in our lives, we will all be tested by misunderstandings. I can attest to that. A terrible misunderstanding occurred in my life that left me shattered for a very long time.

Several years ago my family and I were involved with a large group of people that met often, had a leadership group with a chairman-type person, and we all became friends. Somehow the chairman figure got the notion that some of us would be interested in disposing of him. No, no, not in the Elliott Ness kind of way but in the pinkslipping kind of way. (It would become evident later that he suffered from deep insecurities.) There actually were a few people who weren't keen on his leadership abilities, or lack thereof, and several of them had quietly talked with him in private about it. He insisted that compromising by making some sort of adjustment in his leadership wasn't the answer. Still at no time that I'm aware of did anyone ask for his departure from the group. People continued to be unhappy and it became obvious that he had begun building his army, his group that would insulate him and "protect him" from the rest of us.

The large group was at times broken down into subgroups with leadership, of which my husband and I were a part. At times the subgroup leadership would meet with the chairman and overall leadership for discussion of any problems, concerns, or updates. At one of these meetings the chairman announced that one subgroup had disintegrated to the point that only two people from that subgroup were left and submitted that the reason was because the leader of that subgroup (now departed...no, no, not in the dearly-departed kind of way but in the I'm-outta-here kind of way) had talked badly about the chairman during that subgroup's meetings. My husband and I had been a part of that group. My husband surmised later that we were the only two people left from that subgroup. We were the two that the chairman was talking about. I was shocked because I never remembered hearing anyone speak unkindly about the chairman in those subgroup meetings. I think the chairman thought that my husband and I were speaking some of those unkind words within the subgroup and turning them against him. We weren't.

I do admit that those of us who were unhappy with his leadership were given to discussion about the effect he was having on the group as a whole, but rallying numbers for "our side" wasn't what it was about. Of course, I'm sure he and his following would never believe that. In fact, when he finally did leave, my husband and I wanted to talk with him and his wife to make sure there was nothing between us, but he wouldn't agree to it.

There was one particular couple in the group that he and others had a hard time abiding. This couple had been involved in forming the large group years before he had come on the scene. It was proven later that he had never really come on board with the group to be a part of what we were about but to make it what he wanted it to be. What makes me say that? Several ladies and his wife were talking one day and she became beligerent and said had he known about one of the by-laws of the group, chances are he never would have become a part of it. My response now...at the time my response was saucer-eyes and drop-jaw...would be, "You mean you came into the group not knowing what we were about?" The only sense I could make of that was that he wanted it to be about his concerns, with no vision for continuing what the original plan was for the group.

He did finally leave the group on his own, blaming that couple that he couldn't abide, which angered a long-time group member and member of the overall leadership. This man began an attack on the couple-at-blame which blew the group apart, leaving two sides, many people leaving the group, and broken relationships among people who had known each other long, long before the chairman had come on the scene.

There never was an apology from that man and his people who broke up the group, and, unfortunately, I don't foresee one in the future. Nominal gestures have been made over the years...a meal paid for here, a hug in public there...but no real effort to mend broken...no, shattered...fences. And hearts. Like mine.

Many years and tears later my heart has healed for the most part but not without a scar and, unfortunately, not without a (small) callous. My heart is not into things like it was then; however, new things have taken their place. I have written two books that probably never would have come about, and people like them. And I have two more tumbling around in my head. I am humbled. And it feels good. I feel loved again. That wasn't at all my reason for writing the books, but that's one of the blessings God has given me through it.

There were many days when I grieved for my friendships that are probably forever, at least on this earth, gone. There were days when I had to get out of my own home because I couldn't bear being alone with my grief. There were days when I would busy myself to fill my mind with something other than the pain. And there were the nights when I cried myself to sleep.

I'll never be a part of a group like that again. That is over. Decision made. But I learned something valuable, something I already knew in my heart but had never had to live until now: God really is the only One you can trust. Man is just man, but God is pure love and faithfulness. When friends and family turn on you, God never will. Through it all, He was my constant. I never once blamed Him for what happened. I never once wanted to turn my back on Him. And He has proven to me that my faithfulness to Him makes Him want to not only remain faithful to me but to prove it in tangible and intangible ways. My life is rich. The scar remains, but my life is rich. www.junebanderson.com

Southern Life

SOUTHERN LIFE

I know there have been many writings about life in the South. The land of my nativity. Maybe not one like this one, though. Rank this one with the kindly perturbed and mildly defensive.

Would you go to China...or the South Sea Islands...or Egypt...or Paris...or...(well, you get the point) and insist that they serve bagels and lox...or bean burritos...or grits? Would you go to Mexico and pout when they wouldn’t serve you poi? I, for one, would not show up in Boston and demand they make room on their menus alongside clam chowder and baked beans for real Southern Brunswick stew and pork barbecue.

And I certainly wouldn’t move to The Bronx and even SUGGEST that they tone down their accent. Heck, it’s one good reason to visit New York! Each part of this wonderful country of ours sports a way of speech that is unlike any other..the South included. (I’ve had my share of requests to “say something” when traveling out of my region just so that the Southernly challenged can hear my twang...and believe me, it’s a doozy! And I wouldn’t trade it for all the voice coaching in Hollywood!)

Which brings me to another mild beef...why does Hollywood seem to, in large part, place people in obviously Southern-bent roles who aren’t even remotely Southern, and then ask them to speak as if they were? I know quite a few Southern actors who would jump at those parts if only given the chance! And speak quite naturally. No training. No coaching. Then on the other hand you have folks that are definitely Southern who are, fortunately, placed in those parts and even in parts that don’t necessarily call for a Southerner. Strange.

I think that TV and movies have affected the children and teens of the South so much that many of them think they have to change their accent in order to be respected. Pshaw! I want to approach some of them and say, “Sugah, I know your parents and your grandparents, and you don’t talk like them! You get your Southern britches back on and speak like you was raised!”

Now you may think, “Surely she doesn’t talk like that!” Well, of course I do! It’s just plain fun! That’s not to say that I don’t know proper English. It was one of my best classes in school and one that I made some of my best grades in. ‘Cept my freshman year of high school, but let’s not go there. Bad year. It fouled up a lot of my life. Moving on...

Okay, so let’s wrap this up. What I’d really like to say is this: If you want to move down here and live with us, come on, honey! The more the merrier! Test my Southern hospitality! But don’t come here asking that I take up your ways! Incorporate your foods into my menu! Start talking your way! Adapt! I’d have to if I moved to your area! Would you start serving sweet tea just for me? Would you change your accent just to accommodate me? Would you who may not have a hospitable bone in your body all of a sudden become the quintessential host/hostess just for me? Bet not. And I wouldn’t ask you to.

Oh, and should you find yourself thinking that I’m on a high horse let me just tell you this:

I have visited New York City, and I love it. The people, the crowds, the food, the subway (yes, the subway, except after a Yankees game! Yikes! Never again!)

I have visited San Francisco, and I love it. Fisherman’s Wharf, the food, the sourdough bread, the trolleys on the hilly streets, Chinatown.

I have visited Los Angeles, and I love it. The Walk of Fame, Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and the footprints and handprints, the food, the weather, the landscape, the sights.

I have visited Las Vegas, and I love it. The beautiful brightly colored lights, the (cheap) food, the fountains, the shows, the desert.

I have visited Arizona, and I love it. The desert, Hoover Dam, the Colorado River, the Grand Canyon.

And I’ve been to lots more of this country, and there’s very little I didn’t love about it; but it’s always good to come back to The Deep South. The land I love. The land I want to keep pure. Well, it’s a little late for that, but I hope you’ll help me preserve what’s left of my corner of the country. It’s the only one like it. Thanks for listening. Y’all have a nice day, ya heah?

Zaxby's Fries

I know this has absolutely no importance at all in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes you just have to do a little something fun, ya know? And this time the fun thing to do is talk about fries. Whether you call them Freedom Fries or French Fries doesn't matter. For the sake of the "fun" theme, let's just call them "fries." Heck, most folks do anyway.

Kudos to Zaxby's (that is a weird use of three weird letters of the alphabet right there, I don't care who ya are) for serving good old-fashioned crinkle cuts! They are without a doubt my absolute favorite. I have no idea why...they just are. And I will admit that I like them better a little limp and greasy, not crunchy. Again, I have no idea why. I CAN tell you, though, why some other varieties are NOT my favorite.

Take the shoestring variety...please. They certainly live up to their name minus the limpness of a shoestring. I suppose they are more like a shoestring that was dunked in starch and left to dry. Stiff. Hard. Cold in seconds. More like long, skinny potato chips. If I want potato chips, I won't ask for fries...I'll ask for potato chips. The English have properly named these. I.E.--Fish and chips

Then there's cottage fries...and it depends on whose cottage (or restaurant) is serving them. Sometimes they're long and thick, sometimes round and thick...or thin. I don't trust a menu that says "cottage fries" for that very reason...you can't really know what to expect them to look like. I have had some success in the past with cottage fries, but who really wants to take the chance, ya know?

Of course, one can't write a review on fries if one doesn't mention steak fries. You can usually trust them to be long, a bit thick, and not overdone. I can go with these if you're not going to offer me crinkle cuts.

Since my palate is a bit sensitive to highly seasoned foods (don't offer to take me to Taco Bell or anywhere else Latin flavored) or even unhighly seasoned foods...just mildly seasoned foods...I am very skeptical when the menu mentions "seasoned fries." Seasoned? With what? Basil? Dill? Rosemary? No. It usually means CAYENNE PEPPER or some other tiny red sprinkled thing, paprika notwithstanding. My tongue cringes at the mention of anyone's chili except mine. My nose runs when I eat chili that so much as PASSED BY the spice rack on the way to my table.

If you have a new contraption...maybe from Ron Popeil...that slices, dices, and juliennes, I will be nice and try the fries that you have made from a real spud in your real kitchen with your real hands with your real new contraption and your real grease...even though it's not a crinkle cut. You get points because it was a real potato and you really cooked it. Now if your new contraption has a blade that makes crinkle cuts, we are true friends!

If I have offended you by dissing your favorite fry or have committed a faux pas by failing to mention another fry variety, well, I'm sorry. You will just have to forgive me and move on. As I said earlier, this was just for fun. Gimme a break.

It would be fun (again the theme today is "fun") if you let me know of some places other than Zaxby's that serve crinkle cuts. Okay...the floor is yours!

Reunion Secretaries

This is my first time to ever be responsible for sending out the reminders for my mother's people's reunion. I didn't want to take the responsiblity, but I've never done it and I figured it was my turn, so I accepted it...and dreaded it. I wrote a quick, cute, corny little poem, enlisted my husband's help in running it off on postcards, went to the post office to purchase 60 postcard stamps, self-adhesive (or "already been licked," as the postal worker said,) placed them in the obligatory upper righthand corner (27 cents to mail a post card? Well, it's cheaper than gas, I guess) and have them all ready to mail. Then I saw the secretary's book in the briefcase full of "stuff" that has been handed down over several years. (Don't know whose idea that was, but thanks! Very organized.)

The book has information from the very first reunion in July, 1963. My mother was the first secretary. That would make sense...it may have even been her idea to have the reunion in the first place. The first page says:

Record of Collections and Expenses
7/21/63 (with my mother's name beside it)
Collected $3.52
Book, stamps, etc., 1964 2.75
Bal. July 1964 .77

I read down and over the pages and notice (my mother had it again in 1976) the names of those whose names will never appear there again, like my mother's, and the names of those who are unable to come because they are too old and live too far away at least to come every year, and the name of one with Alzheimer's, and the names of those whom I don't even know.

Then...what? What's my name doing there in 1983????? Well, I THOUGHT I'd never been the secretary before! But, lo and behold, there's my name...in MY handwriting...having been the reunion secretary in 1983! I bet my mother had a huge hand in helping me with that because I had a baby by then and lived 120 miles away.

Anyway, I was just waxing nostalgic and wanted to share this with anyone out there who might care. Have a good day.

Quick Post

Our daughter and her husband are expecting our first grandchild on September 14 and they just found out it's a boy!!!!!!!!!!